It’s All About the Etruscan Water Moose

Etruscan art

Etruscan art

The Etruscan Water Moose. It has always been something of an enigma to me. That’s the point I suppose. I’ll never be sure of the exact origins of the Etruscan Water Moose. As far as I can recall, it originated with a guy from the band DJ Corky 9. My guess is that it came about because it sounded totally exotic obscure. Strange and cool. I really don’t know though, and never bothered to inquire  It just became a thing for a short time. Something we’d say. For some reason it has never left my brain.

The part that says “It’s All About…” likely has another source, although it might well be the same source from a different time. At the pizza joint I worked out, there was a habit of sayings starting with “It’s all about…” and then you fill in the end, what it is all about. The first one I recall came from Word, I’m pretty sure. It was “It’s all about Systems.” That might mean nothing, but it was often used when working together…one person would do one thing and move the pizza down the line…somebody would say “I’m making up these garlic rolls and putting them in the warmer, I know we’ll need them later” and a person would comment “It’s all about Systems.” Usually somebody would respond “Oh Yeah” or if it was Word he’d say “Word”. That saying may have even originated via happenstance from the store manager, the infamous John Ray:  the vasectomy king. I can imagine it being something he said by way of explaining to a stoned teenager how they should think about the intricacies of working in a take-out pizza joint and it resonated from there, progressing into folklore for a dozen other stoned teenagers.

“Systems” and “Etruscan Water Moose” are the only ones I can remember. I’m sure there were others that stuck for a shift or even more, but I don’t recall them. “Systems” seemed too cold for the name of the blog. The Etruscan Water Moose is the thing. It has always conjured up bizarre thoughts and associations. That is what it is…a bizarre and nonsensical statement. How could it ALL be about the Etruscan Water Moose? Who knows, but what if it really is? Then what do we do? Wait. What the fuck is a Etruscan Water Moose?

Water Moose attacks Etruscan sailers in the Gulf of Mexico

A Water Moose Attacks Sailors in the Gulf of Mexico


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