Melancholia: The Movie (Spoiler: this movie sucks)

This movie called Melancholia was mailed to me by the TV GIANT CORP popularly known as Netflix recently. Melancholia is a movie that was released in 2011 by some movie company. What I understand from watching it once (mostly watching it, sometimes I messed with the fire or the champagne or the pug or the twitter or something else) was that it was about a really cool looking end to the planet Earth from the perspective of super rich people who seem to basically own the Earth. This planet, called Melancholia, is going to hit Earth and destroy it (obviously). For a while, the people don’t think it will happen like that. It will just be a close call.

Side note: if you want to see Kirsten Dunst’s boobs, you can get an eyeful in this movie. That’s just FYI.

Kirsten Dunst in Melancholia

Kirsten Dunst in Melancholia

I think that this movie was sent to me because it was made by a Danish filmmaker. I love Denmark specifically and Scandinavia in general. Deal done.

The setting/cinematography/effects are pretty awesome. These super rich fuckers have an amazing place to live while they watch the world end. The premise seems to have so many possibilities. But all that happens is the world ends and people act sad about it or ambivalent about it. Or whatever.

The actors in this movie were pretty high class. The problem is that the writing, the story…just sucks. There is a lot of potential, but nothing is realized.

I understand from doing some cursory web searches that the point of this movie might have been that depressed people are calm in times of crisis. That’s cool. But there could have been better characters aside from Justine. She was the only one really developed, despite the Part One and Part Two stuff.

My verdict: Don’t watch expecting a great movie. Watch if you think it is fun to think about how it could have been a great movie.



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3 Responses to Melancholia: The Movie (Spoiler: this movie sucks)

  1. patrick says:

    I appreciate this review/spoiler of this movie sucking. I think there was a couple of times I thought of going to this when it was at the Ross, or maybe via netflix. Either way, thank you! I will not worry about never watching it.
    Something you may or may not want to consider: “Snoop Dog re-incarnated.” It’s not good but I couldn’t not finish it. I think that if a few of us sat down and smoked a blunt every time he did throughout this film, we would become Rastafarian. Because according to this film, that’s really all he did..and bang, he became a Rastafarian. Yea, that’s it, don’t watch it.

  2. beercellar says:

    Hi Patrick,

    I think you would find yourself frustrated by the movie. Or bored. Maybe if I smoked blunts the whole time it would become religious…

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